8 May 1999
My Uncle Russ died today of a heart attack shortly after
mowing the lawn. There were no bands
playing or holiday’s across the nation as is done for presidents or heroes; just
quiet sorrow to mourn the passing of a husband and father. I doubt I shall ever know a finer man in my
life. He died the way he lived his life;
quietly doing the little seemingly ordinary things that were extraordinary to
those whose lives he touched. There was nothing
ordinary about my Uncle. He made everyone’s
life a little brighter and the world is a better place because he was here.
You have an “Uncle Russ” too. He may not be you uncle, but, you have one; he
is that relative or a friend who is always “there” when you need them the most.
Non-judgmental, encouraging, you never asked him for help but he always seems
to show up at the right time? The “Uncle Russ’s” are the backbone of society. The
person who builds your Character and make you want to be a better person because
of the support they gave you. That was Russ Horan.
My first memory of him was at a retirement ceremony to honor
my grandfather. I was a small child at
the time and such events were a great source of boredom to my young mind. It was late and I was tired. As we were
leaving Park City High School, I was swept off my feet and on to the shoulders
of my uncle. He immediately said
something that had me laughing all the way to grandpa’s house. Russ always had a gift for connecting with
children. Children swarmed around him
and listened on the edge of their seats, never tiring of his stories. Russ always seemed to have a joke and a piece
of candy for the kids.
Years passed. My
family moved to Alaska. I looked forward
to our trips to Utah to see family and friends.
When my father had taken quite ill with heart problems, Russ and Marie
invited my brother Dan and me to go on short vacation with them. What a wonderful time I had with Gary, Dan,
Marie and Russ. We saw the Grand Canyon
and Las Vegas for the first time. I
remember Russ constantly had me roaring with laughter. I didn’t realize till later that Russ was giving
me a much needed break from the problems that were dominating my life. I have thought back on that little vacation
many times over the years and am amazed at how much that small effort on his
part helped me.
When your father passes away and your 14 years old, you are
mad. You’re mad that he left you. You’re mad that you have to move from a place
you love. Mostly you’re just mad. I was probably madder than most. There were a lot of people who wanted to step
into my life and be my father. I
resisted this and became furious with anyone who tried. “How dare them” I
thought. One day Uncle Russ came by and
took me golfing.
No one loved sports more than he did. Russ led the tiny town of Park City’s football
team to the state championship game and narrowly lost due to a dropped ball by
his lifelong friend. He knew I loved sports too. He equipped me with an old set of clubs and as I
hacked my way down the fairways and greens, Russ showed me how to hold the
clubs, aim, swing and putt. Anytime I
ran low on balls, Russ always loaded me up with his endless supply, fetched
from one of two army duffel bags full of them. I cherished those times with him
on the golf course. I felt I could
always talk to him but never had to.
One week ago I saw him for the last time at my brothers
wedding. I had not seen him in some time
and he had lost a lot of weight. The
trials of aging and radiation treatments for cancer had certainly taken a
toll. He was talking about his health
problems and joked about how he loved peas and how he “hadn’t had a good pea all
winter”. I have heard this joke of his
thousands of times over the years; it always made me laugh. As we parted, he suddenly hugged me and told
me that he loved me. I was surprised and
concerned because while I knew he loved me, Russ had never hugged me. It felt more like a farewell than a goodbye.
I am filled with a sad/happy empty/fullness now that I know
he is gone. I wonder how many heroes are
out there who, like my uncle, quietly go about improving peoples lives while
all the fame and glory go to less deserving people who crave the
spotlight. More should be done to honor
them.
Russ was not just my Uncle, he was my friend. He took away a lot of the anger I had as a
child and he was like a father to me.
I love golf. Russ
gave that love to me. I’ll never step up to a tee box without seeing him there
smiling, whistling, searching in his pocket for a piece of candy and enjoying
the little things in life.
P.S. 6/24/13. UPDATE, since his death, I teed off the start of each golf season with the old Sam
Snead Persimmon 4 wood which was the sole surviving club from the original set
Russ gave me. I did this to honor and thank him for the great gift of golf he
gave me. Sadly in 2009, the club exploded on impact and now is part of history. I miss that club and still dedicate my first drive
to my Uncle. I always feel like he is
smiling down on me every time I make birdy.
